Turning 30 will always be a milestone, even if the road it's on changes.

“Age is just a number, it doesn’t really mean anything,” assures a friend. And yet here we are discussing how to celebrate my 30th Birthday. And besides, she can easily say that, she’s not turning 30 for another 10 months.

Planning these celebrations inevitably leads to questioning what exactly is so great about this particular anniversary. It’s a milestone, the passing of every decade is and although these annual inevitabilities only carry the significance we attribute them, leaving your twenties behind and entering into your thirties does seem to carry some extra weight. 

My family are the first to start commenting on it; the things I should know, own; wear and “not be at” now that I’m “turning the big three-O.” All said in that jokey way where the “but, seriously” is silent. My friends tell me to pay no attention; I take to the internet for solace. 

“21 is the new 30” reads a headline. Relief; But it’s not true, because turning 30 is something more, it is a passage into maturity.

When celebrities, particularly women, turn 30 the media mark the milestone with interviews and commentaries asking how they feel about it, what it might mean for their look and their career. And when our time comes we end up asking the same questions of ourselves. In the spotlight or not, the preceding months can contain a mixture of excitement and anxiety; and with all this talk of change it hard to keep the issue at bay. 

 Anne Hathaway and Beyonce recently turned thirty, and both gushed about the experience. They saw it as a badge of maturity and were happy to enter this new phase. Being 29 is an odd age in a way; you’ve done so much and are practically 30 without the title. Although saying I’m in my 20s is technically true, I don’t feel entirely honest, it really only feels about 10% true.  

However, some celebrity stunners like Kim Kardashian have spoken of their age anxiety. Psychologists Anne E. Barrett, Cheryl Robbins in Florida State University identify three main sources of age anxiety; fertility, declining attractiveness and health. But it is the latter two that cause the most distress and women suffer more of it than men. 

I don’t usually make a big thing of my birthday, but I have to concede that it does feel like the ending of an era, and it would be a shame to not hold a funeral for my twenties. 

I’ve decided on a simple celebration, close friends going out for dinner and then to the local late bar.  And instead of asking myself, what am I going to wear? I’m asking what I can wear?  Does my hemline have to drop an inch or two? Easy on the eye-shadow? 

 For all but few, by 30 the inherent, vibrant beauty of youth has passed. The beginning of a battle against the signs of ageing has begun; close inspections of foreheads for wrinkles, and eyes for crows-feet increase. And I can’t help but being more captivated by those pseudo-scientific terms that anti-ageing creams throw at you. 

Beauty experts say that prevention is better than cure. There’s no cure for wrinkles except Botox or surgery and it’s too soon for that. But it’s time to pay attention and start a routine that will keep it at its best, damage to skin will not be so easily repaired now. Heavy make-up ages you too, so the older you get, the older it makes you look. So from now on, less means more. 

Health-wise turning 30 is a pivotal point, especially for smokers. A recent study in the UK shows that women can cut the risks of tobacco- related death by 97% if they quit before 30. I stubbed my last cigarette out years ago but everyone should do some form of physical activity, and it needs to be tailored to age. Those that do tend to have lower mortality rates. 

For over 30s the World Health organisation recommends either 2 ½ hours of moderately strenuous activity or 1 1/2 hours of intense activity a week; and that is just for the minimum maintenance. There's much more work to be done if improvements are to be made and to delay middle age spread.  It might be time to pick up the pace on my nightly walks and start a new hobby or two.

In my twenties I created an image of who I wanted to be by 30; and like me many people created this image of the future in the boom years, basing it on projections of never ending opportunities. The only way was up. Life as a 30-year-old now is quite different to how most people who spent their carefree twenties riding the Celtic tiger thought it would. 

Laughing about how unrealistic our expectations were at 21, my nearly-30 friend confesses “I thought I would walk straight into a well-paid job after college and planned to be earning about €50k a year by the time I hit 30. But at least graduating at the dawn of a recession has taught me not to plan too much, and just focus on enjoying life and being grateful for what I have.”

So I didn’t shoot up the career ladder and instead of weekends in Europe and trips to New York I’m grateful for a few pints and later turning a friend’s kitchen tiles into a dance floor. And it’s difficult not to feel a little disappointed and frustrated at times.  

Your twenties are fun and can be wonderfully carefree by comparison to what comes later in life. But the experiences you have in these glory days should strip you of your naivety and prepare you for what is to comes next. So having seen Ireland, friendships, relationships and jobs go from boom to bust and back again over the past ten years, as well as promises from my mother that I will see it again someday, I feel more knowledgeable, capable and confident that I can cope with whatever comes my way. 

I head out the night before the big day, and half-way through my birthday celebration, my friend hands me a big leather book – a photo album of me, my whole life and so many of my friends had contributed to it. I was overwhelmed, not just at the thoughtfulness of the gift, but because looking through those photos I realised that most of the great things that happened to me were totally unplanned, unexpected and completely off course; and that some of the hardest times have made me stronger, smarter and better prepared for the future.        

As such I’d know this all along, but only really felt it then; and my thirties really began to feel more like a blank canvas, now standing on a sturdier easel. 

And no social-guillotine fell when I hit 30. There is still frivolous fun to be had, wild nights out and duvet days. There’s just a little more work to be done on the serious side of life and with the knowledge gained the results are more successful.

In general, there are signs that things in Ireland are picking up. But even if it doesn’t, at 30+1 month years-of-age, I can see how much I’ve learned, how much better I understand the world and how to navigate it. And I’m looking forward to the next ten years now I’ve an idea how much more is to come and that I’m prepared to make the most of it. 

They’re the best years of your life I’m told. And I believe it, they could be now that I know what to do with them. So now I’m telling my 30-minus-a few-months-old friend not to worry; that age is just a number, but if she thinks about it, it is one of the best.   

The F Word

There are many industries that are traditionally patriarchal and that it required waves of inter gender warfare in order to establish a foothold for the fairer sex. But women were standing in the spotlight of the music industry while the icon of the career woman was a secretary who bags the boss.  

So why, when they have been taking leading roles for so long, does men’s presence and respect in the world of modern music far out-weigh that of women’s.  The recent Rolling Stone Top 100 Most Influential Musicians features only 11 women. The highest ranking being Aretha Franklin at number 9 and the next being Madonna farther down the ranks at 36. Both are vocalists.

The major success for women in music is disproportionately in the field of vocals as opposed to another instrument. 

It must be conceded that some genres are more balanced than others, (the chats are usually close to a 50/50 balance) but in the Rock, Metal and Electronic scenes women make fleeting and frequently unwelcome appearances. In Blues and Jazz they feature largely as vocalists or pianists but rarely as guitarists, percussionists or brass instrument players.

They are out there. A few obvious ones spring to mind - D’Arcy (Smashing Pumpkins) and Courtney Love or Shortee (Scratch DJ), and they are every bit as talented as their male counterparts. But in terms of presence and acclaim the fairer sex is not on a par. The question is why?

Give me a list of the ten best male and ten best female, vocalists, guitarists, bassists, drummers and DJ’s. Now the chances are that even the most militant bra-burner will have to admit defeat in terms of superiority on the entire above save perhaps on vocalists.

A drummer friend of mine once told me that he didn’t believe women could be great drummers or lead guitarists. His reasoning had to do with women’s upper body strength being weaker than men’s. Fair point, a simple fact, simply stated. But I’d hedge a bet that Lenny Kravitz and Prince would strongly disagree. Both of these guys have hired amazing female drummers, Cindy Blackman and Cora Coleman-Dunham. But again the business is not exactly over flowing with female drummers. That does not mean they are not capable of being equivalent in ability but let’s face facts the general perception is drums are for guys. 

As for female guitarists, they are a more common occurrence. Peggy ‘Lady Bo’ Jones is credited with being the “Queen Mother of Guitar” A well deserved title. She dropped jaws when she played with Bo Diddley in the 50’s and 60’s. She paved the way for many more to follow and along came the likes of Joan Armatrading, Joni Mitchell, Chrissie Hynde, more recently Brody Dalle, Marie Stern and many more. The list of talent goes on. But none of them feature on the top ten best of all time alongside Hendrix, Page and Clapton.

In terms of Bassists, Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth pretty much nailed it. And since her women bassists have been frequent, talented, respected and at worst adequate but a bit of decent eye candy.  Kim Deal form the Pixies and D’Arcy are others whose skills have not gone unnoticed. But again despite their credibility rarely make appearances above 50 on a top 100 list, which are dominated by the likes of Peter Hook, Phil Lynott and Tim Commerford.

In the electronic scene again there are some serious skills to be seen from the ladies. Shortee and DJ Heather considered being among the top Scratch and House DJ’s respectively and Annie Mac and DJ Lucca in breaks and techno too.  A lot of DJ’s and fans of electronic music I have spoken to have said that they don’t judge talent on a gender basis and many are quick to name their favorite female DJ’s in any particular genre. But the polls say otherwise.  In 2007 only one female DJ made it into the industry’s most respected Top 100 in DJ magazine. It was Lisa Lashes and she came in at a whopping No. 99, in 2008 she moved to 83 and last year and last year she stood alone once again, one in a hundred at 75.

They are out there, they are talented but they still don’t command the same reverence as the men.

Are most women really happy to be the ‘great woman’ behind the great man or wide-eyed star-struck groupies? And if not what’s stopping them from taking centre stage? Is it a confidence issue? Are men somehow excluding them? Or, dare I say it? Are women, beyond singing, quite simply not as musically talented as men? 

One train of thought elaborates on my drummer friends’ theory – that women’s physics are more suited to some instruments than others. In terms of vocals it is considered that women usually have a larger range to work with. Perhaps making it more understandable that their prominence as singers being their main form of success more understandable.

As for the idea of upper-body strength – According to fitness experts it has been reasonably well established that practice is not unlike exercise and the more you do it, the more you are capable of doing it. The strongest woman in the world can bench press 600lbs, it took her 12 year of training to do it, by comparison guitars come in anywhere between six and ten pounds on the scales. I think after a few years practice/training your average ‘chick’ could manage to play a while without collapsing under the weight of a Les Paul or Stratocaster. 

The idea put forward by many prominent feminists is that music made by men is largely for made for men. Unfortunately women are geared towards doing the same thing. They are accused of selling their sexuality to horny blokes and girls who use them as mentors to do the same or icons they love to hate. In terms of the Pussycat Dolls and their like it’s hard to refute the argument.

Janis Joplin was voted the ‘ugliest guy in college’ and I’ve yet to hear her described as a hot’, but is widely considered to be among one of the best artists of all time. One of the most respected and talented producers of Hip Hop Missy Elliot is never seen scantily clad, doe-eyed, pouting and posing like her career depends on it. You know, there might be something in the feminist mantra of ‘truly talented women don’t sell themselves through sex’.

It is of course possible that it is a social marketing issue. We are well out of the dark ages and women are playing on the same field as men in plenty of arenas. But in when it comes to playing football and playing music they are not taken quite as seriously as when strutting around the office in a power-suit.

The truth is that is probably a little of all of the above in different degrees. But the day when females’ presence and respect matches that of men’s still seems a long way off. . However it is easier for women now than it was for their mothers and so it goes it will be easier for the coming generation. We can only anticipate that in terms of higher number of respected and highly influential musicians in the modern genres, women’s presence will grow and add a new dimension. But for now, regardless of the reality of something being superior, it is perception that determines something’s value.

In the course of my research I came across this article and it still makes me laugh -

http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/why-do-women-make-shitty-musicians/

By Niamh Kirk
Published on www.highway67.net, March 2010.